Peter Martell, “The Women Who Clear Sudan’s Minefields,” BBC News, July 26, 2009, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8161199.stm (accessed December 31, 2009).

Jamba Besta had planned to be a secretary, hoping to find work in an office as her homeland of South Sudan emerged out a 22 year long civil war. Instead the pregnant mother headed an all-female team of de-miners, removing dangerous explosives from former battlefields. ‘I never thought I would be doing this, ‘says Ms. Besta.

What did you never think you would be doing? Working at a job you don’t like? Being single? Caring for a terminally ill loved one? Hauling a carload of children to activities more hours in the day than you can count? Being at odds with a friend? Feeling uncomfortable in your own church?

When asked about the danger of her work, ponder her reply: “What is dangerous is leaving mines hidden in the ground.” Like Jamba, we should realize that there is a greater danger in leaving land mines in our minds than in facing our thoughts and disarming them. Therein lies our motive.

While Jamba’s mine-clearing task takes place on physical battlefields, our equally important work must take place in the battlefield of the mind. Battles in our home, school, country, work place, or government are actually spiritual battles often related to our thoughts. Consider the following verses from the Bible: 

·         “He [Jesus] turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God’s interests, but man’s’” (Matt. 16:23).

·         “The mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so” (Rom. 8:7).

In addition to the above, consider the following verses that emphasize the importance of clearing our minds of thoughts that are contrary to God’s and filling them instead with godliness. 

·         “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind” (Matt. 22:37).

·         “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect” (Rom. 12:2).

·         “Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth” (Col. 3:2).

·         “Prepare your mind for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1Pet. 1:13).

Which of the above scriptures speaks most directly to you about the importance of removing from your mind that which is contrary to God’s ways and thoughts?

It’s vital for us to clear from our minds all that is not of God so we can rebuild our lives in His image.

Father, I pray that you help me acknowledge any land mines in my thought life that can hurt others, me, and Your name.  Please help me to disarm them so that my life reflects You.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Clear dangerous thought land mines from your mind today.

Copyright Debbie Taylor Williams, The Plan A Woman in a Plan B World: What to Do When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan

Amazon

My name is Amber Carrington,” the young woman began. “I was told that you might be able to help me.” Quickly I moved closer to my answering machine so I wouldn’t miss a word. “My husband divorced me three months ago. I have an eighteen-month-old little boy.” With barely a pause, she continued: “I have no money and just got fired from a job I only had for two weeks because my car battery went dead and I couldn’t get to work. I don’t know what to do. I hope you’ll call me back.”

With a heavy heart I sank into my chair and listened to the message again. Had I heard her correctly? Had all these terrible things just happened to this young mother?

We don’t have to look long or far to see people whose lives are anything but what they had anticipated they would be.  We all start out with preconceived notions of what our lives will be like. For many, that includes some combination of education, marriage, children, and career. I have yet to meet a person who said, “I hope to get married and divorced, see my child go to prison, contract a terminal illness, and get fired from my job.” Such events are never part of a person’s Plan A life.

WHAT IS PLAN B?                                                              

Plan B is what you didn’t expect.  The Plan B (“morning-after pill”) advertising slogan is, “Because the unexpected happens.”

Your Plan B may be

• Not getting married.

• Going back to work although you wanted to stay home with your children.

• Modeling Christ to a husband you thought was going to model Christ to you.

• Pursuing a different career than you’d planned.

• Saying no to a marriage proposal.

• Using your savings to take care of medical bills rather than travel.

• Being housebound caring for a loved one rather than meeting your friends for Bible study or lunch.

• Being confined due to health problems rather than being active and social.

• Watching other children win academic and athletic awards while your child struggles in school.

The list could go on forever—because the unexpected happens.

Does the “B” in Plan B have to stand for “bad”?  No, as a matter of fact, the “B” can stand for “blessings.” 

The next time Plan B hits you smack dab in the face, say, “This car accident…, the turmoil in this relationship…., my financial problems…, etc. may be horrible, BUT GOD is with me.  He is faithful.  I’ll look to Him.”

Interject God in your Plan B today.

Copyright Debbie Taylor Williams, The Plan A Woman in a Plan B World: What to Do When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan

“Is everything alright, Jake?”

“Everything’s alright, Marge.  Go to sleep.”

Recently, I watched part of an old movie in which a couple’s daughter did something behind their back.  She borrowed money from her daddy to loan to a friend who wanted an abortion.  The abortion was done by a back alley doctor, the friend became dangerously ill, and once again the daughter went to her father, who was a doctor, for help.  In the middle of the night, the daughter confessed what she had used his money for and the complications that had arisen. Incensed, he went to the girl’s aid.  After treating her, he returned to his room and climbed in bed.  As he did, his wife roused, asking, “Is everything alright, Jake?”  His response, “Everything’s alright, Marge.  Go to sleep.” 

The next day Jake didn’t discuss with Marge what had happened.  Nor did he the next day or the next.  However, his relationship was strained with his daughter. It affected more than just the two of them.

Today, we often refer to such situations as “an elephant in the room.”  Perhaps you’re in a relationship, church, or office where such is the case.  Something’s wrong, but instead of discussing it, you or someone else has Jake’s philosophy:  don’t discuss it.  Instead, say, “everything’s alright.”

Why don’t we discuss things?  I’m not sure.  Perhaps fear.  We’re concerned about the person’s reaction.  Perhaps we don’t because we have a sense of futility; that even if we did, it wouldn’t do any good.  Perhaps we’ve tried to discuss issues and concerns before, all to no avail.  Perhaps the results of prior attempts were worse than tiptoeing around the elephant. 

Although I don’t have the answers, God does.  In a world of imperfect people, Jesus puts the responsibility for righting relationships on us, whether we were wronged or a person has something against us.  That’s pretty revolutionary, if you think about it.   

In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus tells us that if a fellow Christian sins, “go and show him his fault in private.”  Think about the grace and honor Jesus bestows on the one who is sinning.  Rather than shout out the other person’s sin to the world, He says to privately address the concern with the person.  What if the adulterer, liar, gossip, thief, drunkard, badly behaved husband/wife, arrogant person, or rebellious child doesn’t listen?  “If he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed.”  Again, if we pause to study Jesus’ words, we can’t help but marvel.  False accusations and wrong perceptions are avoided when people take time to address “every fact” with a person.  What is the purpose of this kind of relationship?  The objective is stated in Matthew 18:15, “if he listens to you, you have won your brother.”  In other words, the objective in discussing a person’s sin with them is love and restoration.

How many times are we to forgive?  Again, Jesus addresses this important subject in Matthew 18:21-22.  When Peter approached Jesus and asked if after the seventh time his brother sinned against him, he could call it quits with the person and no longer forgive him, Jesus answered Peter with a big, “No.”  Then, he told Peter a story about God’s immeasurable forgiveness toward us, warning that if we don’t extend the same forgiveness to others, we’d be tormented.  If you’ve ever clung to resentment toward someone, you know how true Jesus’ words are.  Unforgiveness is mentally and emotionally tormenting.

What if we aren’t upset with someone, but we find out someone is upset with us?  Again, we’re the one responsible for righting the relationship.  (This is obviously not the world’s philosophy.)  In Matthew 5:23-24 Jesus teaches us, as imperfect beings, that if we are presenting our offering at church and remember someone has something against us, we are to leave and go and first be reconciled to the person.  What if the person refuses to be reconciled?  Paul addresses this in Romans 12:18, where he acknowledges that we can only be responsible for our part of the reconciliation.  “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men,” Romans 12:18.

“Is everything alright, Jake?”

“Everything’s alright, Marge.  Go to sleep.” 

Friends, I've been asked to write a follow-up to The Plan A Woman in a Plan B World: What to do When Life Doesn't Go According to Plan.

The title of the new book is The Plan A MOM in a Plan B World: What to do When Parenting Doesn't Go According to Plan. 

The premise of the book is that parenting is full of surprises.  The child we thought would be quiet is rambunctious.  Our "intellectual" turns out to have learning disabilities.   The son we thought would be a preacher is a hellion.  Our adult daughter calls home and announces she's in a lesbian relationship.  Whether you have a toddler who is running you up the wall (literally), a tween (who thinks she sixteen), or a thirty something (who is jobless and wants to move home), could you give a shout out, "Parenting is full of surprises!"

There are tons of books on parenting.  This is not one of them.  Rather, The Plan A MOM in a Plan B World is about you.  What do moms feel sometimes?  Hopeless.  Disappointment.  GUILT.  Resentment.  Like a martyr...just to name a few.   These emotions can have a negative effect.  Like the land mines we talked about in The Plan A Woman, they can maim us.  They can hurt us and those with whom we have a relationship.

Here's where I need your help.  If you've ever felt one of the following emotions in your role as a mother, please answer the following as applicable.   Also, to protect others involved, please don't use real names. :)  However, please shoot me an email so if I have a question, I can email you back.  Thanks!

I've felt ___________________________.  (Disappointed, Competitive, Exhausted, Like a Martyr, Hopeless, Resentful, Jealous, Guilt, Wronged, Manipulated, Grief, Frustration, Worried, Angry, ____you fill in the blank.) 

a) What event(s) led up to you feeling that way? 

b)  What was your first reaction? 

c)  What did you eventually do?  

d)  How did it help/not help? 

e)  If you had it to do over again, what would you do differently? 

f)   What advice do you have for someone who may be in that situation or have that feeling right now?

g)  Is there a Scripture that might help them through it?

Thanks!  You can comment here or email me:  debbie@debbietaylorwilliams.com

Also, if you have a funny kid story or parenting moment, I'm all ears.  Email me. :)

Coming into our home, Lauren and Chris greeted Keith and me.  After arriving from Frisco and dropping Logan off at the other grandparents, they planned to ride with us to a rehearsal dinner in San Antonio.  “You look great” I told Lauren and Chris, hugging them hello.  With a few minutes to spare before we left the house, Lauren jumped into a topic of necessity:  “Mom, do you have a purse I can borrow that goes with this outfit?”  Only women can understand the importance of her question and of the need to properly accessorize.  “I have just the one!  You’re not going to believe it.  It’s the color of your dress,” I offered.  With her trailing me into my bedroom and closet, I climbed on the step stool and reached for an evening bag I’d purchased years ago.  “Can you believe it?  It’s the exact color of your dress!”  As an aside word of explanation to golfers and hunters, this is comparable to making a birdie or shooting a trophy buck.  With minutes ticking before we left, Lauren opened the purse to transfer her things into it.  “Mom, you’ve never used it,” she noticed, pulling the paper packaging from the inside of it.  “I know.  I bought it thinking it would match something and it didn’t.  You can have it.  It’s perfect with your dress.” 

Hours later we arrived home from the dinner and fell into bed.  The next morning, I walked into the breakfast room and spotted the purse on the breakfast table.  Picking it up, I reflected on how nice it was that it was such a perfect purse for Lauren to carry the previous night.  Then, I noticed a little string hanging from the strap.  Looking closer, I realized it was the price tag.  At first, I sighed, thinking “Oh, no.  Lauren walked around at the rehearsal dinner all night with the price tag hanging out of her purse.”  The visual wasn’t a pretty one.  Then, as I often do these days, I decided to see the humor in the situation. My thoughts immediately turned to Minnie Pearl, who was on the television show, Hee-Haw, eons ago.  For younger readers, she characteristically wore a hat with the price tag dangling from it.  Yes, Lauren must have looked like that, I chuckled, envisioning my beautiful daughter with the rhinestone studded bag, price tag dangling.

Then, my thoughts turned toward God and a more serious consideration.  Looking at the price tag hanging from the purse, I wondered how I must often look like that purse to God.  I style my hair, put on makeup, dress, and earrings in an attempt to look presentable.  Yet often there is something in my life not in keeping with God’s desire for me.  Rather, I have some sin dangling as the price tag did on the purse.  Although God has already paid for me, as 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 explains, and the dangling sin cost Christ His life, I don’t cut off the offensive sin.  

The story continues.  Later, I asked Lauren, “Honey, didn’t you see the price tag?”  Her reply? “Oh, mom, I carried it as a clutch.  The strap was on the inside of the purse so nobody saw the price tag.”  Relieved that she hadn’t walked around all night with the price tag dangling, I couldn’t help but once more think about God and my sin.  “Sure enough.  That’s what I sometimes do.  I stuff my sin inside where people can’t see it.”  “However,” God convicted me, “it’s still there. I see it.” 

I immediately started to remove the little white tag from the purse, but instead, brought it into my office and placed it on my desk, where I am now writing this article.  I’ll soon remove the tag and put the purse away or see if Lauren wants it.  However, I think I’ll do more than just remove the tag from the purse.  I think I’ll also kneel before the Lord and address the sin that is dangling in my life.  I think I’ll do that so God can carry me where He wants, unashamedly. 

What about you?  Is there any sin dangling in your life?  If so, I hope you’ll join me in removing, rather than keeping it.  

“For you have been bought with a price.  Therefore glorify God in your body.”  1 Corinthians 6:20. 

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,” Hebrews 12:1.